Current mood:	hungry
Current music:	Onion News Network

Feeling better...yadda yadda....wasn't as bad as I thought it was...yadda yadda.

A long time ago, my dear departed sister (visit me ya asshole) took a look in her own dead journal and said "Wow! Look at that! I'm doing the same things over and over again."
The same feeling occurred upon rethinking my last post...only I don't need to read me prattling like a retard two years ago to know that it happened before.

And then I wonder why Mary Ann can read me so well. It's cause I'm not a book; I'm a pamphlet.

Ignoring the above tirade, things are good. I'm returning to a more open, contemplative mindset which means I might actually be able to get shit done. Good thing. I would be more optimistic however if it wasn't such a pain in the ass to do this.

Mary Ann talks, at length, about her annoyance and displeasure with the seeming constant back and forth nature of my progress. Let me tell you, it's much more annoying to actually to have to do it yourself. That is to say, trying to run and make as much progress as possible while I'm manic and I can get shit done with some ability and proficiency, and then trying to weather the depressive storms that come in a few weeks later. Doing this amid a therapist change, money problems and everything else makes me, for a moment, wonder if functional alcoholism would be cheaper, if somewhat more liver-destroying.

It's a passing thought. Thought, from a sociological point of view, really fucking sad that's a cheaper option then medicine and therapy. Don't wonder why people turn to substance abuse when you make the alternitive even harder to afford then it is to fucking do in the first place.

I'm not getting into a political rant today mind you; just expressing an annoyence.

I'm consdiering, as I always consider, working on my beliefs, religion, and metaphysics. I feel like I could use something spirtual in my life, like I always do.

The problem is the skeptic in me is a big asshole. More on this later as more of it develops.

I've also been thinking about sex, BDSM, and the subtle to mutha-fuggin' blunt roles in my relationship with Mary Ann.

Like theology, this issue is going on hold til I can articulate it better.

Also: I'm hungry ;p

(Post a new comment)

	(Anonymous) 2007-09-05 10:09 am UTC (link)
	i'm broke, dee dee dee-- don't take it so personally silly. besides, it's kind of a bummer making my way back down to the area; i moved for a reason. i'd like to move further north actually. to a beach. with plastic, snow-covered palmtrees. it would be wonderously ironic. :-) (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Of Money and Hamburg junshin 2007-09-05 12:59 pm UTC (link)
	The money is understandable; the avoidence mechanisms less so. Think of it in a "Field of Dreams" sorta sense; "If you come without telling anyone, no one can harass you...cept for your peudo-brother, and it's his mutha fuggin job damnit." Ah Kevin Costner...such a sage. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Of Money and Hamburg (Anonymous) 2007-09-06 05:01 am UTC (link)
	Kevin Costner is a PUNK. Well, at worst we'll be down for Chrissy's wedding. Speaking of which I really need to RSVP for that. . . (Reply to this) (Parent)